Burning the late night oil...

Well its late here...around 11pm in Brisbane...on a Friday night. Okay...I know...that isn't late at all. It is however, when you have to get up at 4am to start the day.Usually I try to hit the mattress by 9pm. So why am I up?

Well mainly the big reason why I have hate this trip to Brisbane is because of the working conditions. Nothing else really, though I know I have gone on rants about pretty much everything under the sun here. I am stuck at a site, trying to automate a facility that has a couple million dollars worth of new equipment. The problem is that the people that own the site and ordered all the equipment are based in Hong Kong.

Australia has some pretty...downright insane safety codes. Its like the bible...no matter what you do, you are violating something. Worse, I am dealing with multiple companies onsite who have terrible relations between each other. Whenever one side gets pissed at the other, they call a safety inspector to shut the entire facility down.

Its very hard to automate equipment when there is no electrical power. That is pretty much what I have been trying to do, for 10 hour stretches, six days a week. Its frustrating to the point of exhaustion. I finally got word from my company that they recognize its pointless for me to sit in a trailer and deal with all this bullshit completely out of my control.

But that kind of means nothing. My company says a lot of stuff to me and then proceeds to do the exact opposite. They can tell me I am going home all they want, until I see the plane tickets with my name on them, I don't put any weight on their words.

I just want to go the fuck home. I am sick of sitting around, waiting for shit to happen and it never does. Furthermore, I am sick of getting blamed for shit completely out of my control. And all of this, I kid you not, is basically due to two companies fighting like step children.

I never thought  I would be looking forward to 30+ hours of traveling but  I am. Knowing my luck, even if they do send me home, my dumb ass will be shipped back within the week. I should have listened to my high school guidance counselor and become a homeless drifter.

Oh I hate all of you...

I watch the planes taking off from the Brisbane airport and all I can do is wish that every single one of them slam into the earth...just because I am not on it going home.

If I were the emperor of the world I would demand that every child hear the Mountain Goats "No Children" and watch the show "Moral Orel".

I think both of them explain the world quite well.

I need to cut down  on the booze...

Good to see its still fucking insane in the states...

Since I am stuck here in Aussie Land, I find myself looking back to the US with longing. The TV here really sucks though this could be due to me being stuck with FOXTEL which near I can determine, picks all the canceled shows from the US and England, along with the Simpsons, and broadcasts it on all channels.

Much like the TV, the Sports and Politics make little sense here. I watched a rugby match the other day...not sure exactly which rules or league it was as Australia seems to have about a dozen professional leagues here. I firmly believe that I could manage a team to whatever the hell they call their championship just by training the players on the triple option (though of course, no forward pass so its "double" option I guess). The game seems to have no real game planning whatsoever. Bill Beli-jerk would eat them alive. And then give a shitty post match interview with the press.

I miss the US political scene as I like my politics like my ex-wives...batshit crazy. You don't have a political party here demanding that we punish rape victims while the other party claims they are for civil rights while the president wipes his ass with the Bill of Rights. Its so boring here...

God I am a hateful bastard. I think its cause my back is fucking killing me. Don't be born with spina bifida...even when they fix it, its a pain in the ass (or lower back I guess) to deal with. I always laugh when people claim they were going into the military but they had a trick knee or something that kept them out. You score high enough on the ASVAB and they will let anyone in. I lost track when I was in on the number of nukes who did time, were mentally fucked up, or where generally just plain weird like me.

I went to a Koala preserve today. Not surprisingly, their shit smells exactly like that tree they eat. Apparently it breaks down in their system and ferments, meaning that when they are awake, its like they are fucking drunk or stoned. Not that its very often they are awake due to the low nutritional value of the leaves. They apparently sleep 18 to 20 hours a day.

Sounds like fucking paradise to me.

Well seeing how it is 7pm on a Saturday night, and I was up at 4am for work this morning, I need to sleep. That is honestly one of the more irritating aspects of this current gig. My sleep schedule is so fucking messed up to local time that on my day off (Sunday), I can't really stay up and do anything as I cannot afford to take a few days to flip my sleep around. Plus, I can't really afford to get shitfaced at local haunts.

God I really want to just get the fuck out of here. I honestly would rather be in Mexico or India. It would at least be interesting for the increased dangers. The entire city of Brisbane feels like living in some white suburb. I like my cities like my beloved Baltimore. Lots of character and a bit of danger. I have yet to even see a homeless person here or an abandoned building. Its bizarre.

Still here in the Sunshine State...

Whoo...that last post was a bit of a dozy. That was the result of heavy drinking with a couple of Finnish mechanical engineers on a company card (not mine thank god). I am still in Aussie land, counting down the days until I get back to the states.

I was originally told that 17 days was all I was due here. That turned rapidly into the maximum 90 days on my visa. So assuming I leave when my visa is up, I got about 29 days left until I am flying back to the states. The thing is...the job won't be close to being finished so pretty much I will most likely get sent back almost immediately. I will be lucky to get a week back in town before I am shoved back into a plane to this hellish place.

I'm sorry. I am certain that a lot of people would like Australia. But doing any bit of construction work here is a nightmare of stupidity. I am used to dealing with safety rules. Hell, I used to work in nuclear power. But here...its stupid safety rules. Rules that when followed, actually create more dangerous situations. And the work site here has different companies competing against a clock. So each company tries to use the safety regs to fuck with the other companies. Its insanely time consuming and frankly, encourages workers to take risks just to get the job done.

I have word that unless I agree to come back to Brisbane, I am getting threatened with a job in rural India. Day to day, it would be worse in India in terms of food, water, accommodations, etc...but at least it would be fucking interesting. You take away the accents and pretty much Australia is fucking Mississippi except it costs an arm and a leg to live here.

Eh...its 8pm on a Friday night and I am about to hit the sack as the fucking worksite here requires me to be up at 4am, six days a week. Why? Well its fucking Australia so who the fuck knows...

You suck and you suck and you...

Oh god Aussie land sucks. Its like the land of 1000 white people. And the beer is so expensive. Its England with worse food somehow. Every fiber of my being hates this god forsaken island. Every single person should just disappear for the good of the world. I mean this from the heart.

If you are from Australia...you are less than a person and you should kill yourself.


The previous is brought to you by an American who just broke up with his long time girlfriend and is irrationally lashing out. I apologize to everyone but Australians.

"What the fuck is this?"

Hell if I know...you're the one that showed up here.

I guess, in combination of working terrible hours and the isolation that comes with being stuck in a foreign country for work, I have decided to start a blog.

I fucking hate that term..."blog". It just brings to mind hipster assholes with dirty feet, sitting in a Starbucks (or the appropriately "authentic" coffee store), sucking up space while they type up the wisdom they have gained since they left their parents' home in the suburbs those long seven months ago. These were the same assholes who give me shit for smoking camels instead of rolling my own. (side note...going back to college 9 years late is a bizarre experience which everyone should try at least once).

I am stuck in Australia, trying to automate a bunch of cranes. Basically automation cuts down on energy consumption, manpower costs, increases safety...and most importantly, stops letting longshoremen make whole containers worth of stuff disappear.

You can imagine how popular I am on this site.

I have also never actually automated shipping cranes before. I mainly work in steel mills. Its similar equipment (the drives I work on) but its used in very different ways. So I find myself struggling to deal with a customer who expects everything done as quickly as possible, all the while, his employees are doing everything they can to fuck with me, and my own company hasn't done that great of a job supporting me.

I keep getting threatened that I will get sent to a steel mill in India if I don't get results. I would rather be in India, where I wasn't losing money to work because the per diem is so fucking off track with actual costs.

Also...the TV and food here sucks. Australia is the single most whitest, boring place on the planet.